Harry Potter and the Prisoner of his Mind
by Periwinklesgirl
Summary: The third story in my series of 'What If' fics. This one is a Drarry (yes...slash).My third fic, I hope you enjoy, if I get plenty of reviews I might not keep it a one-shot like the others. BTW-GO Guns and Handcuffs!


_All characters and places belong to J. K. Rowling. _

"I hope you enjoy this, but if you don't, console yourself in the knowledge that Voldemort made me do it." Canon-nerd

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of his Mind

It was weird, Harry knew that Hermione was at Arithmancy but Ron hadn't turned up to future seeing this afternoon. Harry decided he would see if Ron was maybe sick in his room.

As Harry reached for the door handle he heard muffled screams. Alarmed that Ron was in some sort of danger Harry flung the door open.

"RON?" Harry called confused as he looked at the scene that lay before him.

Ron looked up from who he was doing in surprise. From out of the covers Hermione's face blossomed. It showed surprise like Ron's as well as real concern.

"Harry, wait" she said breathlessly as he turned to leave hastily.

Out side Harry slowed down and started to walk. He was confused and even hurt. This was unbelievable. Harry had so many questions. How long had they been together? Why hadn't they told him? And even, why did Hermione choose to be with Ron over him? Harry was trying to decipher the answers to these questions and others but he has red hair… when he heard the sound of crying in the night.

Harry placed his hand tentatively on his wand and went to see what the problem was. The crying had sounded like that of a small child.

Harry followed the sounds until he saw a lone figure, sitting on a rock under the swirling night sky. From his angle, Harry could not make out who he was looking at. Harry decided he should go try and comfort them, whoever they were.

When Harry saw who it was that turned in response to his greeting he was more than a little shocked.

"Malfoy?"

Draco's face was tear-stained but there was no denying who he was. Harry stepped back in his shock; he wondered what could have happened. He started to turn and leave before an argument could eventuate Oh Gods, he going to try and hex me to oblivion.

"Is that you Potter?" Draco asked in a in a strange tone.

Maybe "Yes" Harry replied, not willing to turn and face the other boy. Apart from the fact that Malfoy was a common adversary, Harry was not above feeling bad for him. The combination of these feelings… He's so proud, this must be excruciating for him. … But why should I care?.. Caused Harry's reluctance to look Malfoy in the face.

"What are you doing out?" Draco asked amiably enough.

"I needed some fresh-air" Harry said, not telling a complete lie, he decided he was acting like a coward and finally turned to face Draco.

"You don't look very crash hot Potter" said Draco, smirking, possibly at the obvious hypocrisy of his statement.

Harry didn't respond to the rib, he was entranced, drawn into the depths of Draco's eyes… They are so _beautiful?_ Do they always look like this? Some part of Harry's mind screamed at the fool he was making of himself but he brushed it off… Nothing that feels this good can be bad!

Draco stared back at Harry's prone countenance for longish-moment before shaking his head in a way that proclaimed he was coming back to his senses. Smirking his smirky smirk he spoke;

"Close your mouth Potter, you're about to drool"

Harry snapped back to reality, "erm…sorry I, um…" he said lamely.

"Shut up Potter, if you're not going to leave at least stop hovering and sit down."

Harry did as he was beckoned; sitting on a smaller rock adjacent to the one Draco was stationed on What on earth am I doing? He wondered.

"So what are you really doing out here? Have a tiff with your little Gryffie pals?"

"Maybe," Harry blurted.

"What happened, the haughty little mud-blood and the weasel finally get together and leave you out." Draco said smugly, snickering at the look on Harry's face that told him he had guessed correctly. "Come on Potter, you had to know it was coming, everyone else did. They deserve each other, you're not like them."

"How do you mean?" Harry said icily, he was ashamed at his apparent blindness and annoyed at Draco's mockery of his friends.

"You are Harry Potter, you are spechul. Everyone cares about you, even your enemies" he replied.

Harry was sincerely taken aback. He was truly irritated by Draco's blatant ridicule of his best-friends. But he couldn't find the anger to express this because of the unexpected compliment he had received, back handed or not. He took one last long look into the distant grey rings that served as Draco's eyes and got up to leave.

"Good night, I have to go."

That night, Harry hardly slept. He was in a deep confusion; betrayed by his friends and praised by his enemy. It was like every thing he had ever believed in was fading while he; the remarkable boy-who-lived, could only curl up and witness the spectacle. He worried he was cracking up as his thoughts continually circled back to Draco.

Harry opened his eyes and got up. It was almost the weekend, on the weekend he would figure it all out. Until then, Harry had to get to Potions on time or Snape would gladly tear him a few new orifices.

Harry got to class earlier than usual as he hadn't been able to stomach breakfast, or maybe it was the company he couldn't handle. Either way, when Harry got to the lab in the dungeons it was still deserted. He didn't want to be near Ron and Hermione at the moment so he sat in the far corner where other students never seemed to sit.

Harry was about to get his things out when Snape walked into the room with the boy with eyes that made him dream, following behind. The two were speaking in hushed but urgent tones and obviously hadn't seen him.

Harry listened and found what he was hearing hard to comprehend. Not because they were speaking too quietly or because they were using words that were not in his vocabulary. Harry struggled to understand the conversation because of the implications of what he was hearing. If Harry was hearing properly, but it couldn't be… Draco had betrayed his father and become a spy.

The rest of that day was more or less uneventful for Harry. Just when Harry had thought that Snape and Draco were going to spot him in the corner, a large group of students had made their way into the room. Hermione had gone up to the professor to ask for her extra homework and interrupted his conversation with Draco. Snape had snapped something about Hermione being a rude and omniscient child, revoked ten points from Gryffindor and that had been the last Harry had heard.

Harry thought again of what he had witnessed that morning as he dressed for bed. What he had heard explained a lot, but he still wished to know more about what was happening with Draco. Tomorrow, he decided for the zillionth time, was to be a day for answers that would end his confusion.

**  
**

"Morning Malfoy" Harry hailed his blonde rival, jogging casually to his side.

"Hello Potter, what are you up to?" Draco asked somewhat suspiciously.

"I was wondering since you and I haven't been on good terms with our friends lately; you might want to spend today with me?" Harry asked, mentally berating himself for sounding like such a loser.

"Honestly, Potter, I'd rather do anything but spend my free-time around you" Draco retorted, "But since you're such a charity-case at the moment I guess I ought to. It'll be my good deed for year" he finished smugly.

Harry was thrilled. He had figured, on his side or not, Draco would flat out refuse his offer. Since he hadn't, it gave Harry the chance to find out what was going on …and look at him some more, some quiet voice said. Why would I want to look at that goiter? A louder part argued, but there was no response.

That afternoon Harry lay with Draco beside the lake. They had visited Hogsmeade for the day and had an amazing time. It was like they both forgot all precedents in their relationship for that time and Harry thought it was the most fun he'd had in ages.

Draco had shown Harry all his favourite places and Harry was amazed how unusual a place could seem through a different persons eyes, not to mention the insight it gave into Malfoy's personality. Harry didn't even miss Ron and Hermione when he was with Draco because he became the only thing Harry could focus on …and he is a nice looking focus I did NOT just think that!

Harry couldn't help but stare in wonder for a minute the first time Draco had laughed openly at one of his jokes. His laugh was so honest in that moment, more genuine than Harry had ever expected anything about Draco to be. He strangely envied all others who had witnessed it before him. After they had both tired of Hogsmeade, they meandered back to Hogwarts talking about things ranging from Quidditch to potions assignments, before settling in the shade by the incandescent lake.

"Hey Malfoy, do you want to know a secret?" Harry had wanted to tell Draco something all day, he wanted to see Draco's reaction.

"Sure, I can tell that you are dying to tell me whatever it is" Draco said, turning to face Harry.

"Do you remember the first day of school?"

"You mean the day you took my friendship and through it back in my face? Yeah, I remember it vaguely Potter." Draco replied, his smile fading slightly at the memory.

Harry grimaced slightly and went on "well, you know how the sorting hat talks to you inside your head?" Draco nodded "when I got sorted it said I would be a good Slytherin but I asked to go in Gryffindor." Harry finished and then stared into Draco's eyes, hoping to glimpse what he was thinking.

"That's nice Potter" Draco said after a short pause.

Harry was annoyed, he had expected some response and Draco wasn't showing any emotion at all.

Draco had obviously noticed Harry's crestfallen expression and features soured slightly as he said; "what did you expect me to say Potter? That I am hurt that you decided to be a Gryffie-punk because you didn't like me, or that I forgive you for presuming you were above me. Well I'm sorry but I don't really want to waste my time alleviating your guilt at rejecting me."

"I…I never said…" Harry stuttered.

"Don't try and tell me that's not what you were doing. Sorry Potty but you don't get any brownie points from me for _almost_ being a Slytherin and you most definitely won't ever be able to make me forgive you for the way you treated me when we met. I don't even know why I don't even know why I wasted my day with you!" Draco face as flushed with repressed anger as he got up and stormed towards the castle.

"But Draco, I never meant" …to hurt you.

**  
**

How could he have been such a fool? Harry couldn't sleep for the second night that week. He had to find a way to make this up to Draco. I'm such a git, why did I tell him that? Why do you even care if you hurt his feelings? That was a good question. Harry could say it was because he didn't like to hurt anyone's feelings, even if it was Malfoy, but it had never really bothered him before.

There was something more, Harry knew that Draco was good now. He could tell Draco this but he didn't think it would go down any better than his last confession. Draco would just tell him that just because he isn't following Voldemort doesn't mean he was following Him. Anyway, even when he hadn't known this he had wanted to know what would make him cry, which only brought Harry back to the same question. Here's a better question; how come you dreamt of him, of his eyes, looking into yours? Stop that!

He could only hide from himself for so long. He knew the answer to all of these questions, it was simple, he cared and he dreamt and he fought because he loved. Harry Potter realised he loved Draco Malfoy. How can I ever tell him?

Harry wanted so badly to tell Draco how he felt, he wanted to look at those stormy eyes as he reacted and feel Draco's lips when he kissed him and told him he felt the same. This was Harry's fantasy but on the night he had become conscious of his feelings he had also decided that this could never happen. Draco could never feel the same way he did. So Harry got his daily Draco intake in other ways.

He had his little fantasy for instance and he still had his dreams and each night they seemed to get more detailed. Most of all though, Harry liked to follow Draco.

It had started by accident a couple of days after their argument. He had gone out for a stroll, trying to clear his head. He had made up with Ron and Hermione and they had been being all lovey around him all that day. It hurt; he wasn't bothered by their secrecy because he knew how quickly love could appear however, every time they showed their affections it was a needle jammed into his brain reminding him of what he couldn't have with the person he loved.

So Harry had needed to think without anymore needles being shoved into his grey-matter and he'd come across Draco again. He hadn't been crying this time, just deep in thought. Harry couldn't face him so he had concealed himself in the buses and watched him. At one stage he had needed to move because his foot had fallen asleep and his movement had almost got him caught. But it had also given Harry a chance to get a good look at Draco's face; it had been the face of a lost little boy.

From then on Harry followed Draco whenever he could. He kept the invisibility cloak with him at all times so that he wouldn't be caught. In class and around other people Draco looked as he always had; his face blank unless he was smirking maliciously. When he thought he was alone though, his face changed and to Harry he just looked tired and lost and it made his heart break.

Now it had been over two weeks and Harry was following Draco as he sauntered around the grounds, all alone. He had his invisibility cloak pulled tight against the chilled air and kept ducking behind trees and buildings to make doubly sure he wasn't spotted. They walked together near the lake, Harry about ten metres behind. Harry almost bumped into Neville and he took his eyes off Draco long enough to watch Neville meet his lover. Neville looked around suspiciously making extra care not to be noticed as he made his way into a cave on the lake's shore. Harry knew that inside Neville would be having another make-out session with Lola, the giant squid. Harry sighed; it seemed these days that everyone but him had somebody to love.

Harry turned back to his charge and noticed that he was making his way towards the castle again. He sped up in order to shorten the distance between himself and Draco, dodging in and out of walls and little alleys made by close together buildings. Harry was just stepping out of one of these crevices when something hit him and everything went blurred and then grey.

It was only grey for a moment before Harry realized he was being dragged further into the little lane way and out of sight by his shoes which were showing beneath the cloak and clearly visible. He was rubbing his now painful eye when his leg was dropped and he looked up to see who had grabbed him. Oh, bollocks! Harry's mind screamed it was Draco and he was just about to pull off his invisibility cloak. He tried to reach out his arm to stop what was happening but he was frozen and all he could do was look into Draco's eyes and hope for a swift death.

Draco's eyes widened when he saw Harry "Potter?" he whispered and then smirking "well this explains a hell of a lot.'

Harry just stared back dumbly.

"Well, well, well, all these years I've wondered how you were able to do so much wrong and so rarely get caught. An invisibility cloak, I should've known.

Harry just nodded in reply. Then the smirk cleared and Draco's face became blank and some what calculating, as if he was trying to see into Harry's soul.

"Why were you following me?"

Harry cleared his throat which was still pretty much frozen and opened his mouth to reply, but he didn't know what to say.

"Speak up Potty, I assume it's you who has been following me for the last couple of weeks, or did you think I didn't know? Ha, you really thought you were being stealthy didn't you? Sorry to shatter your illusions but you were stomping around like a troll with wooden-leg."

"Oh." Harry said finally, his face having turned to custard about two seconds before.

"So, you have a tongue, did you want to apologize and didn't know how? Tell me why you deemed it necessary to watch my every move for a fortnight?" With that Draco sat down, obviously willing to wait until he got his answer.

"I'm sorry…for everything. For following you and for upsetting you, I just…couldn't face you." Harry said hoping fervently it would be enough.

**  
**

"Sit up Potter." Harry did as Draco bid; he had been lying where Draco dumped him the whole time. "This is what I'm seeing" Draco said conversationally, "You stumbled across me the other week, we were both feeling gloomy and you, being the Gryffindor savior, take pity and decide to be nice to me. That's fine, but when I made clear that we were never going to be really friendly you wouldn't let it go, even when you got your old friends back. What I want to know is why you care so much?" Draco's tone was expectant as he watched Harry's face.

Then he leaned forward and whispered in Harry's ear "I know why Harry," Harry's heart skipped a beat he couldn't know "I know why because the look I see in your eyes is the one that I see in the mirror." Then Draco put his lips against Harry's.

For Harry it was like his fantasy had somehow leaked into reality. He slid his fingers into Draco's silky hair and kissed him back. mmm… tastes like chips with salt and vinegar. He couldn't believe it Draco loved him too.

**  
**

Draco put his hand into Harry's as they walked into Hogwarts for dinner. They had stayed where they were until they realized they had been there long enough for it to become dark. They had talked and kissed, Harry had told Draco how he had accidentally found out about him becoming a spy and Draco had told Harry that he had loved him for ages and couldn't have fought against him even if he had tried.

"Your lips are all puffy Draco."

"Yours too Harry" Draco said smiling, it looks really cute.

"I'll show you _cute_" Harry said smiling and running up the stairs, last one to dinner is a flobberworm carcass."

"How appealing" Draco replied before breaking into a sprint, he still liked to win.

Draco watched Harry's ungainly stride amused and then his good humour dissipated as he watched Harry slip to his knees on one of his shoe laces and then tumble against the wall, his head thudding loudly against the stone surface.

Harry felt like he was being pulled through a never ending void, a black hole that would have him sliding away for eternity. Orbiting around him were the past weeks events, from finding Ron and Hermione together to his afternoon of kissing Draco. The images flailed through his head as he was dragged into the… Light?

"Harry! Harry can you hear me?"

Harry opened his eyes, his head was throbbing and it was being cradled by someone he couldn't see. Ron and Hermione were hovering over him, their faces having matching expressions of worry with a dash of guilt. Then the person with he couldn't see spoke and he knew straight away it was Draco.

"He's waking up, lucky for you mud blood. What did you both do to him anyway?"

"It was an accident," Hermione said anxiously "Harry, how are you feeling?"

Harry tried to sit up but his head felt like it was made of lead.

"Stay still mate, you had a fall" said Ron miserably.

Draco leaned over Harry's face, studying it with a smirk "you don't look very crash hot Potter" he said and Harry was reminded the night he saw Draco crying. He stared into Draco's eyes thinking of their trip to Hogsmeade with his honesty and laughter and how he'd followed him after they'd fought. Then finally how his kisses tasted like hot chips covered in salt and vinegar.

**  
**

"What _are_ you staring at Potter?" Draco said and then he turned to Ron "Weasel, I think your friend Pothead here got brain damage when he hit the wall."

"Just bugger off will you Draco, pretend you never saw us, we know how good you Malfoy's are when it comes to lying."

"Fine with me, I really wish I didn't know any of you anyway, its depressing how this school makes me mix with the lower classes" Draco replied before stalking off.

"Harry, We're so sorry, this is all our fault. Ron, can you go get Madame Pomfrey, he might have broken something."

"Alright Hermione, you hang in their Harry." Ron said, jogging off.

"Hermione, what are you apologizing about?'

"Harry can't you remember? Oh no, this is worse than I thought" she moaned "Harry, you were running down the stairs because y...you walked, walked-in-on-me-and-Ron-and… we were…um"

"But Hermione, you already apologized for that last week, I said it was ok, you don't have to apologize anymore."

"What are you talking about Harry; you only walked in on us five minutes ago!"

But, no, if had all seemed so real…

**  
….**but it was all just a dream.


End file.
